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I am a recovering student, finally free from the grasp of higher education

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Monday, August 23, 2010

A break from the ordinary

Today is a rough day. I had so much fun yesterday with friends and family coming to visit, but today...whew! Before anyone freaks out...baby is fine, I'm still stable..well physically anyways. It all started with not turning off the TV until 1am. That is never a good start. I'm having a tough time processing everything today. We have some wonderful, supportive amazing people in our ward at church who have taken Isabel in daily. Everything has been fine until one day last week and then today. Mike and I had some miscommunication on our end with the people watching and I feel awful. One friend missed an activity she was supposed to be at, and had Isabel for 14 hrs. Yeah, I'm an awesome mom! Then today... well Mike's phone is on the fritz and keeps deleting his texts, emails and call logs, so he didn't see the new email with who had Isabel so when he dropped her off, the lady couldn't do it so he took her to the next person he thought it was... and dropped her off. Turns out it was still the wrong person and he could finally read his emails on the way to work. So I tried calling to straighten it all out. It seems like a small thing but I don't want to take advantage of the people who are helping our family out.

One of my friends watching her called and let me know it was all fine and not a big deal and people just want to help out our family and are glad that I'm doing so well. I hate feeling like I'm putting people out or taking advantage of them. This is just a rant... I'm hoping I'll feel better tomorrow. I just hate not having control and part of me really wants to go home and be able to take care of my daughter but I know if I do that, I'm putting my other daughter's life at risk. I hate being here today. Oh and to top it off... tomorrow is the 2 year birthday of Brooklyn. So where I'm sure I'll be just fine tomorrow.. today it's hitting me. So here I am again, in the hospital, pregnant, emotional and really missing my family.
I think I need to go find some more chocolate....

7 comments:

Cheyenne said...

I just ate four pieces of chocolate. Do you want me to just shave off the fat from my right hip and stick it on yours?

Emily said...

I have to say I can totally relate. I was on bed rest for 3mos with Brett. Someone from church came everyday and picked him up and dropped him off. I felt like I was taking advantage of their kindness a lot of days. It was hard! It won't be easy but I know you can get through it and feel stronger for having survived. I promised myself too, to always be available for other after that, to help repay all the kindness I was given!

Emily said...

Sorry I didn't say but someone would come pick up Isaak, everyday.

Bethany said...

Tracy-I wish I were closer so I could offer to help out (and bring you some chocolate!)

Ashley said...

Thoughts and prayer your way. I understand how you want to be in control of everything. Hope it gets better.

Meredith said...

That has got to be hard. Hang in there! I'm sure that everyone is totally fine with helping you guys! But I KNOW I would be feeling the exact same things you are if I were in your situation.

us in a nut shell said...

SO sorry for the confusion - I'll do better next time! Everyone just wants to help!! We love you and your family!!