upcoming

We have a lot of upcoming things this next few months. I thought I would start listing them so I can look back and see all the chaos that is our life this spring. :)
1. MAATA convention (just this past weekend in Topeka, KS)
2. Head to GA to see Grandma, Aunt Barbie (and hopefully) Uncle Johnny and pick up furniture
3. Make yummy treats since Mike and I are off our diet... healthy ones of course.. not the crazy sugary ones I'm pinning...at least not for a bit.
4. Work...work and work
5. Soccer for Isabel
6. Dance for Isabel
7. Shriner's Circus
8. General Conference
9. Easter (and finish Dresses for the girls)
10. Kansas City Temple Open House (I CANNOT wait to take Isabel there!!)
11. keep training for 31 mile walk
12. Isabel's 6th Birthday (are you kidding me?!)
13. Mark Forester Memorial walk
14. Girls Camp
15. Trip to Oregon for Leslie's baby and Ph.D graduation
16. National Convention in St Louis.

WHEW! That is a lot.. I guess I forgot to to add winning the lotto. That would be helpful. :) This list doesn't even count Mike's big milestones he has to accomplish. I have such a great family and I am so lucky I get to do all of this list with them.
I just wish I knew if I could add moving to this list. We'd love to so we can get all of our (new) furniture ready to go and finally get to tackle my huge Pintrest boards and get all of my ideas done for them. Oooh and could you imagine the amazing culinary creations I could whip up in a big kitchen.... or even a normal sized kitchen?! I am doing better thinking about all of the blessings I have and trying not to focus on what I don't. I am trying to will myself to be hopeful and optimistic again. It's not fun being pessimistic and it's not in my nature to be so for very long. Some day's I hate dealing with the "natural man". But I am lucky with my awesome family, awesome weather, great places to walk/run to, tv and internet to pass the time when I don't want to read, and health. (not all in the correct order...) and of course the Gospel, my foundation, and my Savior. So here's to being more happy!

Doubt

Doubt, it's such a sad word. Doubting in yourself is tough because if you don't believe in yourself, who will? Doubting in others is scary because you want to see the best in people. And most importantly, when you have doubt, you can not have hope. And Hope is what keeps us going, hope is what brings us energy, happiness and allows us to wake up and move every day. I went back today and cried, a lot, as I re-read the comments and the posts about Brooklyn. Mike's Grandma is getting a bunch of information together for the families genealogy. I had so much hope, so much understanding, so much faith during that amazingly large trial. It's funny how at times my faith has doubt, my understanding has doubt, my hope is (not all)gone. (ok, it's not ALL gone). I have yet to figure out how I had all that faith, all that understanding, not a shadow of doubt in Heavenly Father's knowledge of me, His love for me, His awareness of what I am was through. Yet now, when times seem tough, when I have been dealing with the same trial, off and on for years, I doubt. I doubt that He is aware of my, I doubt that He cares what happen to me. And this trial, is nothing compared to losing my sweet girl. It should be nothing. I lost the greatest thing one can lose, and I stayed whole, my faith stayed whole. But this little trial, this inconvenience of a trial, consumes me and overwhelms me. I think one of the hardest parts is knowing that it is I who have wandered away from Him, I have have lost faith in Him, not the other way around.
Yesterday I was so frustrated, so sad and to be perfectly honest... pissed. So pissed that I tried to ignore and miss the tender mercies that were right in front of me. My heart was so hardened that even knowing I needed to smile, there was too much ice, I wasn't really letting it chip away. Then last night, it was almost gone. I can't say I am through the doubt, or all my hope is back because honestly, I am to afraid to hope. It hurts to hope, it is so tough to hope only to be knocked down.
One would have thought that all my rough places would have been made smooth by now, the refiners fire would have worked a bit more by now. But if I'm to stubborn to let it...
So here's to be back to my normal optimistic self and to find that faith I had not that long ago.

Projects

Easter is right around the corner.. yes I am skipping over St Patrick's day, green fun for the day will be had but I need more time to focus on Easter. I am making the girls their Easter dresses this year. Thru the amazing world of Pinterst, I have found new, fun, inspiring blogs to follow and one of those blogs brought me this...


Isabel has requested a yellow and pink dress, so the main part will be yellow and the specialty fabric will be pink. Stella's I'm thinking maybe purple and pink? I'm off to the fabric store in a bit to decide. I thought about making a different dress but since I have two to make, this one will bring me less headaches... I think.

Here is the other dress


I love it but... Maybe for a birthday girl dress for Izzy.

I also am thinking of making myself this for a cute spring top

I know, I know. If I made that top I could coordinate with the dress... but I don't want to share. Oh and I think all three of these tutorials can be found over at U Create... their link is over to the right.

Pintrest has been making my life so fun..I did just glance at the number of pin I have, it's nearing 1700. I think I may have a problem. But I am using much of what I have done, or ideas for it at least. Many friends have benefited from my yummy-ness recipes, my girls will enjoy my sewing (I hope) and I have so many great ideas for when we move.

Oh and I am gaining about two rooms worth of furniture at the end of the month. My Grandma has moved out of her home she built about 15 years ago. My mom and aunt are there as I type this packing up her home and going thru everything. The other two cousins and my sister didn't want any of her furniture and since we already have a few pieces from years ago of hers, we are finishing out that set (I wish I had a picture to show you... we painted it black and it is AMAZING), now we are also getting her old bedroom set.



Now I know this set seems old.. but Isabel is getting this set... it might have a few extra touches put to it. She will have a princess room! She is so excited.. I'm hoping she will forget that she really wanted a bunk bed. She wants me to paint it pink, but I told her she could not have pink furniture and pink walls.
And yes...that is a queen sized bed.. Isabel is getting a HUGE bed for her little self. Let the jumping begin!

Lastly, for furniture that is we are getting a gun safe.

No, we don't have a gun...not yet anyways but I do love this piece of furniture.

I am so grateful that my extended family doesn't mind that I just took it all. They were offered but didn't want it. So someone had to take it, or deal with selling it. The one thing I don't have a picture of is the player piano!! With scrolls. :) Toss in some china (ok, don't really toss it) some bake ware etc and I don't have to buy anything else for my house. :) THANK YOU GRANDMA (not that she reads this)

Now to rent the truck in 3 weeks to drive down there......