We made it through

Friday was a wonderful day. We were able to celebrate Brooklyn's life in a memorial service held at our church. The messages conveyed were beautiful and the song that was written for Brooklyn by a friend of ours was sung and absolutely amazing. We are so blessed to have so many people come and support us during this time and many more that wanted to come but were unable due to various reasons. After the memorial we headed to the cemetary and had her laid to rest in the Garden of Little Angels, it is a infant section just outside the main building. Isabel was adorable and waved saying "bye bye Bwookwn, see you later Bwookwn". It was a beautiful end to her short life.
I thought this would be easier after Friday, I thought I could handle it and be ok with it. I think in many ways now it's harder. I was holding on because I knew I had to get thru this week, finish plans, orgainizing, get ready for our company etc. Now we are left with our thoughts and memories and nothing to really keep us from dwelling on it.
I put Brooklyn's stuff that she had accumulated from the hospital, pictures, blood pressure cuffs, info from the hospital on grief, blankets I held her in, and cards we've received in a box tonight so it would all be together when it came time to scrapbook it. It was tough to think that the sum of my child's (earthly) life was in a box, with no more to be added to it.
I am a little nervous to be at church tomorrow, not because of church itself, I'm ready and need to feel the Spirit and feel Heavenly Father's love for my family, but I am so tired of crying. I did read in some literature the hospital sent, a lady was quoted as saying that she found herself crying all the time everywhere she went and she'd try and fight back against the tears. FInally she realized that when the time comes, the tears will stop.... so I guess it's another lesson in patience.
I do miss my daughter and the future I was planning with her. This still sucks, but eventually it will get better, I do believe that... And I'm so happy to have the stress of the last two weeks gone, now I can focus on getting my family and myself through this time and remember that it's not all sad... at least not for her and I need to remember that when it gets hard for me.